Wednesday, May 31, 2006
_ Nothing I say now, can convince anyone, anything ; I dont know what is happening these days. Joce and I have been quarrelling since ever I started poly. I thought at the start it was becos we couldnt meet/talk/spend time together often. However, as time goes by, it doesnt seems to be the case.
As all of u know, I'm in poly right now and sure bound to make new friends. Especically at the camp, I made a bunch of nice friends, co-ed friends of cos. However, whats bothering joce is that the pic takings and I'm hanging out with my friends. Yes, it may be jealousy that is doing all the evil deed that we are in our current situation.
Firstly, we quarrelled abt a few times in one week. Right now, its been like everyday. I really dont know why this is happening to us. Abt pic taking, I took pics with my girl friends very closely, till face touch face. I know that its very sensitive to joce. I tried to convince her time and time again that I love her only and will nvr abandon her. However, the insercurity which she has, is nvr enclosed by my words and love.
Even till now, we are still quarrelling abt it. I know how she feels. I'm really very tired of everything that has been happening. My sch work is getting more, and more over, my common tests is just next week. I just dont know why this is happening. I'm really very happy being with joce, no matter whether the time is short, spent with a grp of friends or whatever situation it is. As long she is by my side, I just feel content. But why must this happen to us? Maybe its mostly my fault cos of the pic takings and the time spent with her is seriously not enough. I am seriously not blaming her for the quarrels we had. I know that through this, she really loves me a lot. That is why I have been hanging on, even till now, trying to stablize our relationship.
More over, tmrw is our 8th month anniversary. Its really closing to 1 year. Even my friends encourage me to make it 1 year cos not every couples can do that. Getting together for so long no matter what had happened. I seriously want our relationship to last till 1 year and continue on. However, things right now makes it seems impossible. Aching my heart is what I am feeling everyday, even in sch, that feeling just follows. I just really dont want any of this to continue. It will really become a routine if it continues. The only way to end all of this, is to convince joce that I really love her a lot, and will nvr ever abandon her for someone esle. I rmb telling this before, "If this relationship really fails, I'm not gonna step into another relationship anymore, its not easy for me due to my past relationships."
This is why I'm blogging all this now. I just really want to end all of these, completely.
no Innocence, just Me
8:54 PM
